The term “rainbow baby” has a personal meaning to every person who experiences pregnancy loss. The #rainbowbaby hashtag has been used more than 2.5 million times on Instagram. While not an official medical term, rainbow baby is a common term used to describe a baby born or adopted after the parents lose a child or pregnancy to miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. 

There are an estimated 1 million miscarriages and more than 20,000 births that end in stillbirth at or beyond 20 weeks of gestation in the United States each year. While everyone’s pregnancy journeys are unique, there are common experiences in loss. Mary Williams, a Southern California-based influencer. Alongside her husband and their three kids, she creates family-centered content. In 2023, after four years of waiting and the loss of three pregnancies, Williams gave birth to her third child, Harmony Cherie.

“Navigating through pregnancy loss is a deeply personal journey,” she told 21Ninety. “I am immensely grateful for the support of my husband, and the strength I found in my faith.” 

Williams’ oldest children, Penelope and Giovanni, who were 7 and 2 years old at the time of her initial loss, provided a glimmer of hope. They also motivated Williams and her husband to strive for another healthy pregnancy. 

“Each loss was traumatic, and despite the passage of time, the pain remained,” she explained. “[Our ability to persevere] is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.” 

Navigating Difficult Emotions 

Experiencing three pregnancy losses back to back took a significant emotional toll on Williams, especially the first loss. For six months, she struggled to process the grief. 

“I was hit with a whirlwind of emotions,” she said. “I felt completely destroyed and heartbroken. No matter how much I tried to remind myself it wasn’t my fault, it felt like something was wrong with me.”

Ultimately, Williams sought therapy. She explained how therapy equipped her and her husband with essential tools to navigate grief and foster healing. 

“I can’t recommend therapy enough,” she said. “I began to feel less trapped and found a way to regain my sense of purpose. It was a tough journey, but slowly, I started to find my way again.”

The Journey to Conceive Again

In June 2019, Williams became pregnant for the third time. Unfortunately, just a month later, she experienced her first miscarriage in July 2019. Two more miscarriages followed before she had a healthy pregnancy in December 2022. 

“It was actually a special moment when I surprised my husband with a positive pregnancy test as a Christmas gift,” Williams said. “It was our sixth pregnancy at that point.” 

Although their first two pregnancies went smoothly, the third through the fifth pregnancies were extremely tough. Williams and her husband never sought professional answers about the miscarriages. Their OB/GYN explained that the miscarriages were most likely due to Williams’ age, even though she was healthy. The Williams grieved as a family and got through the surgeries and recoveries. In August 2024, they welcomed a little girl, their beautiful rainbow baby, a month early.

“The journey was filled with ups and downs,” she said. “But, we made it through together, as a family.”

A Symbol of Hope 

To Williams, a “rainbow baby” symbolizes the beauty that follows a storm. 

“A rainbow baby represents hope … for healing from painful memories, hope for the chance to hold a baby in my arms, and hope for mending my broken heart,” she said. 

While the memories of her three lost babies will always remain, Williams explained how she and her family have learned to cope with those losses and keep moving forward. For Williams, a rainbow baby also signifies peace and harmony within mind and spirit, which is why she named her daughter, Harmony. 

“I’ve never felt more at peace than I do now,” Williams said. “Harmony is a daily reminder that although we waited four long years, she was absolutely worth the wait.” 

Celebrating After Loss

As a faith-based family, after each pregnancy loss, the Williams found comfort in knowing that their babies are in heaven. 

“This belief helped me on the days I struggled, especially when I was newly pregnant again,” she said. “To celebrate our rainbow baby, we focused on giving God the glory for her life.” 

Williams and her husband openly talked about their journey with pregnancy loss. They also incorporated rainbows into their daughter’s nursery and outfits, symbolizing hope and remembrance.

“As a mom, it’s crucial to never forget my three pregnancy losses,” she said. “Celebrating our rainbow baby in this way honors their memory while embracing the joy of Harmony’s arrival.”

How to Support Moms and Families

Williams’ advice for partners, children or other family members and friends who want to show up for a mom experiencing pregnancy loss is to approach her with compassion and understanding. Start by acknowledging her loss. Williams also recommended being present and listening. Don’t try to fix things or offer unsolicited advice. Let a mom share her feelings and validate her emotions, whether she’s angry, sad, or confused.

“It’s important to remember that grief doesn’t follow a linear path,” she said. “Be patient and check in on her regularly, even after some time has passed.”

She also advised to consider offering practical help, like preparing meals or running errands. Don’t shy away from mentioning her lost babies; they are a part of her journey. 

“Celebrate her rainbow baby with her, but also create space for her to grieve,” Williams said. “Ultimately, just being there, showing up, and letting her know she’s not alone can make a significant difference.”

Advice for Moms 

Staying positive after experiencing loss can be a challenge. Williams hopes that sharing her experience brings comfort to others facing similar challenges. As Williams and her husband faced challenges along their journey, they prioritized open communication to reassure each other. She also leaned heavily on her community, as well as her faith in God. 

“Prayer and reflection provided me with comfort and strength,” she said. “Through it all, my faith remained a cornerstone, helping me find peace amidst the turmoil.”

Focusing on self-care was critical for Williams. Celebrating small milestones during her pregnancy helped shift my focus from concern to hope. She learned to trust her instincts and sought professional support when she felt overwhelmed. Talking to a therapist, who specializes in pregnancy loss, provided guidance and coping strategies.