I will always be for good old-fashioned courting. Back in the day, dating seemed to be a lot simpler — maybe because there weren’t as many distractions (i.e., social media). Now that we’re in the digital era, it’s more difficult to connect with people on an intimate level. And I mean really connect. We hear the dating horror stories and shake our heads in disbelief. Maybe things are just…different now? Or, just maybe, those are age-long issues that have since been amplified given the technological advancements.
What seems to be lacking on the dating scene? Here are some mannerisms that I definitely think need to be revived.
If you have a genuine interest in someone, approach them respectfully. First impressions are everything. Needless to say, cat-calling and street harassment are not acceptable.
“Train people how to treat you.”
I get it — texting is easier. I like to text. We all like to text. Remember how fun it was to stay up until 3 a.m. chatting with a love interest? When getting to know someone, it’s important to initiate phone dialogue to get a better feel for if you even like this person, much less want to go out on a date with them. You can extract a lot of information (i.e., history, likes and dislikes and future plans) from simple phone or face-to-face conversations. Sure, some texting is fine, but certain discussions require picking up the phone. Nobody needs to get carpal tunnel from long-winded text messaging!
There seems to be a lack of effort these days in a major way. Why is this? Getting to know someone should be more than just chilling at their home watching Netflix. Not that there is anything wrong with Netflix…but go out on dates! It is a major red flag when a person only calls to chat during a certain window of time or doesn’t ever want to venture out in a public setting with their love interest. *Major side-eye*
Remember, dates don’t have to be expensive. There are so many creative, fun and free ways to hang out. Besides, it can be quite awkward and uncomfortable to have someone invite you to their home to watch a movie as a first date — you hardly know each other and it’s just plain ol’ lazy! There, I said it.
“Put forth more effort.”
Be clear about your intentions. If you’re just dating and playing the field or aren’t really sure what you’re looking for, make sure the other person is in the loop so as not to string anyone along in the process. If you just got out of a bad relationship, it’s best not to bring that baggage into a new one. It’s dating etiquette. Make sure you’re fully ready to date or move on to the next with a fresh slate before diving into something new.
The best way to get to know someone is when both parties are being their authentic selves. This is key to building trust and finding commonalities. Deception causes headache and heartbreak down the road, so avoid representing yourself as someone you aren’t.
Whether single or married, the dating phase shouldn’t come to an end once the courting phase is over. It should be a continuous effort on the behalf of both partners.