I’ve been rejected, I’ve had rejections and I’ve felt like a reject. Rejection is one word with three syllables but it hurts worse than bee stings, splinters and sticks and stones breaking bones. It hurts and it makes us feel sick, and quite frankly it makes us feel like 'ish.

But rejection has shaped and molded me like no other professional development. It has pushed my performance, it has influenced my image and it has expanded my exposure. It has encouraged my creativity and it has inspired my innovation. It has, in fact, motivated me. But motivation in the face of rejection hasn’t always been easy. No, friends, it ain’t easy but, it’s necessary.

Here are seven ways I've learn to deal with professional rejection.

1. I give myself permission to feel.

As stated above, rejection sucks. It absolutely, truly, undeniably, totally, whole-heartedly sucks. Yes it does, and I give myself permission to feel the suckiness and permission to say it out loud.

2. I have a moment.

Friends and family are friends and family. This meaning that when one is hurt, the others try to fix the pain. And when I say fix, I do mean fix. But before getting my pain and problems fixed, I have my own personal moment to vent. I have my own cry fest, my own swear-a-thon and my own "woe is me" and "why me" carry-on. And believe you me … I … carry … on … and on and on and on.

3. I vent to God and I vent to others.

God gets a piece of mind, and so do my family and friends. But after giving myself permission to feel, and after having my own moment, I am finally ready to be fixed. I am ready to hear "it’s going to be OK" and "forget them, you didn’t need them anyway." And not only am I ready to hear it, I am also ready to do something with it.

4. I play the question game.

I try to put myself in the shoes of my rejecter in order to see things from their unique perspective, and then I interrogate myself. I ask myself things like: What were my actions that contributed to the rejection? What were their actions? If I had the opportunity to repeat the situation, what would I do differently? What could they do differently? And most importantly, I ask myself this: Was this even for me and is this rejection actually a good thing?

5. I put a time-stamp on my emotions.

Depending on the size of the rejection, I give myself an hour or a day to be in rejected-mode. That’s it. One hour or one day to feel, vent, play the question game, name shame and blame. And once my hour or day is up, I have two choices:

A. I can move on and view the rejection as a thing that was meant to be.

B. I can brainstorm another way to achieve that dream.

6. I problem-solve solutions.

If I determine that my rejection was a temporary speed-bump and not a permanent road closure, I brain-dump and brainstorm solutions to get to the other side. I start by seeking advice from the rejecter to see if there’s something I can do to amend and alter the rejection. If it’s a job, can I gain more experience here and there? If it’s a fellowship, can I provide another letter of recommendation? If it’s a speaking or writing engagement, can I send additional materials and examples? What can I do to get the rejecter to reconsider? I brain-dump, I brainstorm, I follow-up and then I follow-through and do what the rejecter has asked me to do.

7. I diversify my applications.

Rejection is inevitable. It is. It just is. But the stock market has taught me a thing or two about diversification, so I diversify. That’s right, not only do I diversify my investments, I also diversify my professional acceptances. How? I don’t put all of my professional applications in one basket. I apply for one job here and another job there. I apply for awards, speaking engagements, fellowships and professional development trips EVERYWHERE. I apply on overdrive and the way my applications are set-up, my acceptances, more times than not, outweigh my rejections.

And that my friends is how I deal with rejection. Yes, I vent, name shame and blame, but at the end of the day I treat rejection like a lesson. A lesson that can teach me a thing or two about who I am, what I do and why I do the things I do. And now you have to decide too. Will you control your rejections, or will you let your rejections control you?