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Posted under: News Opinion

8 Ways To Avoid The Recurring 'Hey Big Head' Trap From Your Ex

Tis' the season.

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It's a new year. The weather has cooled down, sweaters are out, and your ex is hitting you up because they want “that old thing back.” Wait what? Most of us dread this annual cuffing season because we know that means one of our exes will text us or dive into our dm’s,  ceremoniously messaging “hey big head.”

Rihanna recently reminded us of this phenomena when she posted a picture on Instagram rocking red underwear from the Savage x Fenty seasonal collection. The internet went crazy when Chris Brown’s posted a surprise emoji along with Meek Mill who commented trophy emoji's. Now… Chris. We all know he’s been in love with her ever since their breakup years ago, but we also know he stalks his ex Karreuche’s page with the same energy. 


So what’s up? Does Chris really miss Rihanna or did he just have a weak moment?  We often ask these same questions when our exes pull this move on us. After racking our brains and possibly feeling a rush of irritation we screenshot the message, share it with our friends and prepare our response. Before you hit send, let us guide through navigating this recurring trap.

1. Remember Why You Broke Up

The statement “you broke up for a reason” is not a lie, trust those words as if Yoda said them himself. That “Merry Christmas” text is often disguised as a means to re-open the relationship either permanently or for a temporary holiday booty call. If your ex broke your heart probably have not changed. Keep your guard up and leave the past in the past

2. Label Their Contact ‘Hell No’ or ‘Don’t Text Back’

If your ex is a serial cuffing season texter you might want to label their contact something that reminds you not to respond to them. When you see the name “they’re crazy, don’t do it sis” or a bunch of vomit emoji’s on your screen, it’ll remind you not to entertain the foolery. Keep it pushing!

3. Keep Thirst Trap Photos To A Minimum

Social media thirst traps are great. It’s a fun way to remind the world that you’ve still got it. But when you are trying to avoid attention from an ex, you might want to hold off on posting anything that may trigger them. Save those photos for the Spring and keep our Instagram feed PG. 


4. Post Subliminal’s About A New Boo

If you are dating someone (or even if you aren’t dating someone), this is a good time to post mini subliminal’s about that person. Next time you are at a coffee shop with one of your “friends,” post both of your drinks with heart signs. A cute caption with the words “spending time with you warms my heart” is just enough to make yourself look unavailable. 


via me.me

5. Make All Text Responses Cut And Dry

If your ex has already managed to infiltrate your phone it’s not too late. Whatever you do, don’t engage! Sprinkle your response with blatant disinterest. Reply to his/her message hours later and simply the message down to one or two words. A simple “k” says everything you need.


6. Ghost From Social Media

What if your ex doesn’t have your number but they follow you on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook? As extreme as it may sounds, taking a small break from these outlets may deter your ex from hitting you up. If they aren’t seeing you on their timeline it might help them forget about you entirely. Out of sight, out of mind right? 

7. Go On A Twitter Rant About Cuffing Season

Throw some subtle-shade into your next Twitter post. Consider going on a good rant about people who quickly find a boo during cuffing season that they will eventually drop in Spring. The sub-tweets may let your ex know you are closed for business. 


8. Hit The Block Button

This could seem obvious, but if you don’t want your ex to contact you ever again, go ahead and hit that block button. Blocking your ex is a more permanent decision, but it’ll prevent that unwanted text. Also cutting ties will help you heal in the long-run.  


But if all else fails… just send your ex this gif and keep it pushing: 

via GIPHY

Happy Holiday’s! 

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Los Angeles based freelance writer, poet, self-care hippie and reformed cat lady.