To say that the characters of HBO’s Insecure are messy would be the understatement of the year.

In its penultimate episode Hella Disrespectful, we finally saw the confrontation that we’ve been waiting for between Lawrence and Issa. Long story short, the two did each other pretty dirty and aimed some pretty petty insults towards each other. Between Lawrence’s problematic slut shaming of his ex to Issa’s attack on Lawrence’s mental health, it's safe to say that these two definitely got beef. But the true output from the episode's epic fight is the culmination of a theme that’s been explored throughout the series' second season: Hurt people hurt people. 

Hurt has been something that has acted as the driving force for these character's decisions ever since that fateful night at the end of season one. It drove Lawrence into Tasha’s bedroom, it made Issa try to rekindle her situation-ship with Daniel, and it was the coal that stoked the fire of the events of this past episode. But hurt is also the excuse these characters have used to justify the things they’ve done. It's the thing they’ve used to absolve themselves of any wrongdoing, not only towards each other but towards the other people they’ve roped into their mess along the way. 

The end of Hella Disrespectful got me thinking about the ways that we as viewers do this on the daily basis. While it's easy for me to chastise these characters for the dumb shit that they do every Sunday, I also look back on my own moments of heartbreak and can recall moments where I’ve hurt other people simply because someone completely unrelated hurt me. I cleared my conscience by simply saying I did what I did because I was sad, not because I’m a bad person. And while I may not be a bad person, it makes me ask “why didn’t I check myself?”.

Being able to check yourself in times of wrongdoing is one of the keys to adulthood, I think. As I myself approach my mid-twenties, there have been moments where I’ve had to take a step back and ask myself if I was doing the right thing based on the standards I’ve set for myself. Whether its been with interactions in my personal life or professional, taking these moments to decide if I’m truly doing the right thing or just being an asshole have improved not only my relationships with other people but my relationship with myself as well. Learning to check yourself means acknowledging that you aren’t always going to make the right decisions in life, but that you’re going to commit to making things right when you can. 

As we approach the end of this season of Insecure, I can only hope that for the sake of these characters growth that they’ll learn to look back on the thing that they’ve done and be able to admit when they could have made the choice to be better people.

Because like my momma always says “Check yourself before you wreck yourself, ya hear?”.