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I have a confession to make: I hated my first name.

I hated it for years. I was that kid who could never find her name at any souvenir shop when we stopped at them on family road trips or school field trips.

I have not used Vedia since the ‘80s. I was teased unmercifully (called VD, venereal disease, videotape, etc.) and bullied constantly by the kids in my elementary school and my first year of junior high. Over the last 35 years, I never thought to use my government name. Tanya stuck since it’s part of my middle name, La’Tanya — and I could find it on keychains.

Recently, I won several awards in my graduate program and my college advisor asked me if I wanted those awards to read Vedia Barnett or Tanya Barnett. I was seriously taken aback because I had not used Vedia in any capacity since the mid-'80s. I never had to help people pronounce it because I used Tanya on applications and the like.

Bynames matter and I was not using my real first name due to past trauma. I eventually forgot about Vedia.

There is a history of Black folks being shamed by their unique, ethnic or phonetically spelled names. I remember when Dr. Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck talked about refusing to change her name. An NPR story detailed that while Vandyck was a student, “her name elicited the strongest reactions from white teachers.” I received that same reaction from the kids in my school. And teachers often butchered my name or would use my last name when they called roll. I cannot remember the last time my name was uttered by anyone other than my husband and my father.

In the Forbes article, “Are Job Candidates Still Being Penalized For Having ‘Ghetto’ Names?,” Janice Gassam Asare shares how “name discrimination is a common issue that job candidates from different ethnic backgrounds may face.” Black folks, as well as ethnic individuals, face all sorts of discrimination when it comes to our names. But I believe we can do something about it. Here’s realized to find the beauty in my name:

• I had to fall back in love with my name. Vedia is unique, easy to say and virtually no one else has it.
• I had to understand my mother chose my name for a reason. It was different and she loved the way it looked. We are talking about a 21-year-old naming her Black baby girl in 1971.
• Believe it or not, my father and my husband are the only people in this world who still call me Vedia. Even my momma calls me Tanya.
• I asked my kids what name of mine they liked and they love Vedia. The more I type it, the more I realize that it is time to use my name — the name Ruth and Rodney Walker gifted me with.

So let me reintroduce myself to you: Hi, my name is Vedia La’Tanya Barnett, and I’m proud of my beautiful, Black name.