Vegan lifestyle personality, author and businesswoman Tabitha Brown‘s most popular slogan is “That’s your business.”
But in a new partnership with Always Discreet, she’s telling you some of her business for the purpose of erasing the stigma around bladder leakage with older women.
Brown spoke with Blavity about the new partnership, saying it made sense for her to work with Always Discreet because their mission aligns with her current personal journey of embracing all of herself. That includes embracing some of the things society has shamed women for experiencing after they have had children or as they age, such as bladder leakage.
“I thought it was really a no-brainer to partner with Always Discreet [because] Always has been a brand that I think most women have used for many, many, many years, including myself. But in this season of my life and really the last 12 years, bladder leaks became a part of my life and not enough women talk about it. And so when they asked me about partnering with them in, you know, for this, I said, honey, this is for me,” she said.
“I felt motivated and inspired [to partner with them]. I was like, oh, my goodness. I get to start another much-needed conversation. To knock down the stigma, to create more of a comfort for women to know that they’re not alone,” she continued. “Mine started after I had my son. I started having bladder leaks and it can be as simple as sneezing and then all of a sudden you sneeze and you just, you know, tinkled on yourself. Or you laughing too hard. Or you coughing or you’re trying to run, whatever the case may be, they do happen. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, which I used to be both of those things. But as you get older, you start realizing like, wait a minute, especially as I started to get into my freedom walk, I was like, wait a minute, girl, this is just a part of life. And especially womanhood now, going through perimenopause. I’m just delighted to partner with Always Discreet and start these conversations.”
According to Always Discreet, a recent study found that 88 percent of women who experience leakage “are held back from everyday moments and activities such as grocery shopping, traveling, working out, playing with their kids, or even laughing.” They also found that only a third of women feel comfortable openly talking with their friends and family about bladder leak issues. However, 80 percent of women admitted that hearing other women talking about this would make them feel like they could talk about it with others.
Brown started the conversation Sept. 30 on social media, asking women who experience bladder leaks what they would do if their bladder leak issues weren’t holding them back. 73 percent of women said they’d laugh more and harder, 80 percent said they would play with their children and grandchildren more. and 55 percent said they would love to experience more gym time. A huge percentage of women, 76 percent, also said that they would love to drive anywhere without worrying about leaking, and 63 percent said they would feel sexier and do more daring things, such as wearing sexier dresses on date nights.
Overall, women are saying they would love to experience more life, and that if they could control their bladder leakage, they would experience way more than they feel like they can. Brown and over 50 other women are now driving conversations online and leading by example with their personal stories and the hashtag #DiscreetDryRun.
For Brown, it’s all about becoming a version of yourself that experiences more self-love, which in turn means you have more love to give to others. But self-love starts when you stop caring about others’ judgement.
“When you stop worrying about what others think of you, it’s the best gift we can give to ourselves. It’s the real part of freedom that I didn’t realize many years ago,” she said. “When I used to conform, I used to code switch. I used to, you know, wear my hair one way, try to always be a certain size. I was always trying to fit in or do what I thought, quote unquote, was accepted or, or normal, not realizing that that was not freedom.”
“But honey, now I wear my hair how I want to wear it, honey. Donna [Brown’s name for her hair] is big and proud. My weight goes up and down depending on how I’m eating or [how] I work out, but if I don’t feel like watching what I eat this week, I’m going to have a treat. I’m going to treat myself,” she continued. “I’m going to literally love on myself. Like that’s really what it is. It’s me loving on myself without apologizing for it, taking time for myself without feeling bad about it, putting myself first. Because I’m being selfish with my, with my joy, with the love for myself. That’s what it looks like. That’s what freedom is about. And when we do that, we actually treat other people well. That’s what freedom is about. And when we do that, we actually treat other people well. We treat other people better when we’re treating ourselves really well. And it’s a great domino effect because you know, you treat somebody else nice and they treat somebody else nice and then, you know, it continues on, and that’s all from having joy at the center and, and freedom.
Emotional labor might be one way women give love and support to the other people in their lives, but it can also be a chore women are unfairly tasked with in our society. That chore becomes especially burdensome if you’re someone like Brown, who has a full career and social life as well as a family life. Brown said she’s thankful she has a team to help her, but she also said that she manages everything through consistent planning.
“I balance with a good team, a great schedule. If it’s not on my calendar, girl, it don’t exist,” she said. “I have to have it [scheduled]. But for me, family is first because that’s my foundation. And then everything else is the bonus. I get to live my dreams. I get to have businesses. I get to do all these things, but that’s the bonus God has blessed me with and I make sure I schedule breaks for myself. That’s how I keep a balanced mindset. That’s how I feel well. And you know the thing about balance that…you got to give your all in the moment to whatever it is you’re doing. So when I’m with my family, they get all of me. Everything else, I’m not concerned about in that moment. I’m just with my family right now. When I’m showing up for Donna’s Recipe, my haircare line, in that moment, it’s about Donna’s Recipe. When I’m doing my Target stuff in that moment, that’s what it’s about what I’m doing. Now I’m with Always Discreet in this moment. This is what I am. I am focused on doing this right now.”
“So I think if we remember to be present in the moment, then you naturally will balance out everything else. But if you try to [tell yourself], ‘I’m gonna give, you know, 10 percent of my time to this today, I’m gonna give 10 percent of my time to this today, I’m gonna get 10 percent of my time to this,’ You’re gonna be all over the place,” she continued. “But if you say for this one hour, I’m gonna give 100 percent of me to this. And then from two to three [o’clock], I’m going to give 100 percent of me to this. That’s true balance. Not trying to worry about everything at the same time. You can still multitask, because you’re going to get to it, right? I’m a great multitasker. I like doing multiple things at once as well. But when it’s certain thing that are priority or important, let’s try to give all of ourselves to that thing in that moment. And then we move on to the next thing.”
Fans of hers have loved her advice on healthy eating, lifestyle and more, and if you want to know how you could have a life like Brown’s, she said it all comes from believing in yourself and doing things your unique way.
“I would say do it your way, right? Do it your own way. Be inspired by me. Be inspired by other people. But do it your way,” she said. “Everyone’s story and journey is different. And just being true to who you are, it’s enough. Share your truth. Uh, stay authentic. Don’t try to be who you’re not. It doesn’t want people who can smell it a mile away, honey, just be who you are and know that your life and your story and your truth is enough.”
