Throughout life, we’re always encouraged to look ahead, never backward. There might be some truth to this as some things are better left in the past. But every now and then, that one person (you know that one) crosses your mind.
And so it begins. Is there such a thing as “the one that got away,” or are we just dwelling on the past?
With every past relationship, there were circumstances that led to its demise – one abandons the other, betrayal, incompatibility, distance, loss or just growing apart. Sometimes, we just screw it all up. The thing about love is that we honestly never know what we have until it’s gone, or can’t really fully digest the magnitude of the relationship unless from the outside looking in.
We never stop thinking about what could have been.
There are several reasons why you shouldn’t subscribe to “the one that got away” mentality:
- People change. No matter the stage in life where your paths crossed, recognize that the high school crushes or college sweethearts are not the same people to this very day. Sure, it’s nostalgic and makes for fun memories. However, it can be guaranteed that they have since evolved from the person you once knew. So while you are stuck on the man or woman from the past, they could very well not be your cup of tea as you progress through adulthood.
- You hinder your new relationships. It’s a lot like living in a fantasy world in wondering what life would be like with that “one” from the past. Whereas, in actuality, you are doing your current or future relationships a huge disservice in making the past an outline for the future. Let it go, and focus on the present.
- Whatever will be, will be. It might sound cliché, but things happen for a reason and people are exactly where they are supposed to be at any given moment. Don’t lose sight of why things didn’t pan out. Do you really want to go back down that road? I mean, do you really want to go back there?
- Young love. Young, foolish love will get our noses open every time. First loves tend to stick with us like none other. And yes, most relationship failures can be chalked up to youth or lack of maturity.
The “one that got away” might always carry a special place within our hearts, however dwelling on the past carries lasting, negative effects. There might be some rare moments when you will cross paths again, and it will be up to you if you wish to revisit. But all in all, love comes in all forms and is not one-size-fits-all. So for now, let go of the past to make room for the future.
‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson
Do you believe in “the one that got away” or is it just our way of holding on to the past? Share you thoughts in the comments below!
