12 Unresolved Questions Everyone Bordering Gen X And Millennial Need Answered
We need closure.
Born roughly between 1977 and 1983, xennials belong to the micro-generation that borders between Gen X and millennial. With three solid decades under our belt and the likes of Beyoncé, Charlamagne tha God, Angela Rye and Jesse Williams in our ranks we, mid-to-late thirty-somethings live somewhere between the jaded sensibility of Gen X-ers and the hopeful audacity of millennials.
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In all of our full-grown glory, we are still plagued by some unresolved questions. The blessing and the curse of our internet-free childhoods is that the answers aren't always Google-able—our faves may or may not even exist in the cloud. Here are 12 unresolved questions black xennials need answered, TODAY.
1. What happened to Magoo?
Up jumped the boogie, the boogie jumped Magoo and we never heard from Timbaland and Missy's brilliant sidekick ever again.
2. Where did Johnny Kemp go with that paycheck?
We were just little kids. All we knew is that Uncle Johnny had just gotten paid. It was a Friday night, and he said he was feeling fine. We never saw him again after that. What happened to Johnny?
3. Who let Cabbage Patch Kids happen?
There's no better testament to the power of aggressive, kid friendly marketing than the '80s phenomenon of the Cabbage Patch Kids. Parents had full out toy store brawls over these cloth made, unattractive dolls. They had one stationary pose and their hair was made of yarn but we all just had to have one, How did we let them hoodwink us? Shoutout to Cabbage Patch Katie though. She was a real one.
4. Where did Coco go?
The fifth housemate on the pilot episode of The Golden Girls, Coco, was funny, nurturing and he could throw down in the kitchen. He was the perfect compliment to the ladies at 6151 Richmond Street in Miami, Florida—and then he just disappeared. I would love to have seen his character developed. Perhaps the world just wasn’t ready.
5. Was BET the first mixtape hustler?
Myspace, what? Soundcloud, who? This commercial is the reason why every self-respecting xennial knows approximately 4.5 seconds of every gospel classic. Act like you don't know every song.
6. Did Toni ever learn how to pronounce "Jabari?"
Creator Mara Brock Akil put her foot in this early 2000s sitcom. Girlfriends. Was. Everything! Joan, Maya, Toni and Lynn were our favorite young aunties—looking for love, eating sushi, drinking wine and navigating purpose with amazing chemistry, impeccable fashions and the best storylines. They were all of us, but the 2008 finale left us hanging with so many unanswered questions. Did Joan and Toni ever get back cool? Did anyone in the crew ever have sense enough to get with William, like for real for real? Did Toni ever learn how to pronounce "Jabari?" So many unanswered questions. Mara, it's never too late...
7. Did Rosie Perez have an actual backbone?
Brooklyn born, Bushwick bred-Rosie Perez was '90s goals AF. The Soul Train dancing, hip-hop choreographing mastermind, turned Oscar nominated actress, is the genius behind the dance routines of your favorite '80s and '90s pop and R&B superstars. Known for giving fierce face and breaking it down with her signature hard pumping, full body wop, we're entirely convinced that this Puerto Rican dancing diva was a low-key invertebrate. I mean, how else?
8. When did Justin Timberlake secure his cookout privileges?
Picture it: USA 2001. A five member pop boy band by the name of N'SYNC infiltrated your R&B drive at five countdown with a little ditty called, Gone. A track so soulful, so early '2000s R&Blicious that you couldn't help but break into slow motion body wind. And then it happened—a gentile young lad by the name of Justin stepped to the mic with a falsetto so smooth and vibrato so sick that it forever guaranteed his foil wrapped plate at the family cookout.
9. Was Cherrie the first ride-or-die chick?
From her adorable friendship with Punky Brewster to her teenage BFF status with Laura Winslow, Cherie Johnson was sitcom friend goals. She provided support, delivered a couple of cute one-liners and exited scene left. Cherie knew her role and played her position. Everyone needs a Cherie in their life.
10. Was Miss Cleo really clairvoyant?
Can't knock the hustle. Miss Cleo was out here reading the girls for a smooth $9.99 per minute, but was she really psychic though? I mean, could she really see on both sides like Chanel or did she just have good instincts and common black a** sense? Who’s to say the two are mutually exclusive? Regardless, she was hilarious. RIP Miss Cleo.
11. Is Donnie Simpson to blame for the cosmetic colored contacts trend?
Oh, hey Donnie! Each and every Saturday of our childhood, Donnie Simpson, host of BET's Video Soul, hypnotized us with his smooth chocolatey complexion, charming smile and those piercing green eyes. While Donnie's irises were 100 percent authentic, I'm convinced that he is to blame for my generations momentary obsession with cosmetic colored contacts—of the non-prescription, beauty supply variety.
12. Who's boy was it?
It's a shame what happened to Brandy and Monica. They are both '90s R&B icons, but nearly 20 years later, their relationship still hasn't recovered from their little spat over the original eff boy. Mekhi, this is on you.
So many questions, so few answers, and this isn't even the half.
Let us know what unresolved xennial questions still keep you up at night.